Conflict is Good

The following is a guest blog by Nancy Stampahar of Silver Lining Solutions!

Do you know a difficult person? How do you feel when you interact with him or her?

It’s likely that these interactions are stressful and emotional. The good news is that you don’t have to feel this way. You have a choice on how to react towards difficult people and difficult situations. You have a choice to be effective, productive, happy and fulfilled.

Here are some quick tips:

  1. Don’t take it personally! A difficult person is someone who keeps repeating the same actions, even after they have been asked to change their behaviors. This person is likely difficult with other people, not just you.
  2. Be nice, but firm! Communicate clearly-without intense emotions-your feelings and facts about the situations you have experienced with this person.
  3. Put the ball in their court! Ask open-ended questions to seek their ideas on how to resolve the issues. For example, “What do you think we can do to…?”

Just as dealing with difficult people can be a source of stress, so can dealing with difficult situations. And just as you have a choice in how your react to difficult people, you also have a choice in how you react to difficult situations. It begins by communicating your wants and needs.

Here are steps to facilitate dialogue when faced with a difficult person or situation:

  1. What are the facts: seen, heard or sensed?
  2. What are my emotions?
  3. Why do I feel this way?
  4. What future actions do I want/need?
  5. What will be the positive results of these future actions?
  6. Ask for their thoughts and obstacles.

Remember, conflict can be good. It allows people to feel that they’ve been heard and for problems to be solved and processes improved.

If you have been unsuccessful in your attempts to resolve these circumstances, it may be time to end the relationship or situation.

Nancy Stampahar’s energetic, engaging personality and work initiatives are packed with real-life “how-to’s” and solutions that help you succeed at both work and home. A skilled consultant and the award-winning author of Peace, Love, and Lemonade: A Recipe to Make Your Life Sweeter, Nancy’s heartfelt words, expertise and enthusiasm will ignite your power within to succeed, and her famed “Silver Lining Solutions” will have you making lemonade out of lemons in no time at all! Visit:

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